ADHD and low self esteem, is a common thing we hear about and I’ve been there.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably faced your fair share of struggles with self-esteem and thats why you clicked on this post.
Living with ADHD as a woman can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’re a mom and you’re constantly trying to juggle a million tasks while society expects you to be perfectly organized and on top of everything.
But guess what? You are not alone.
Here are a few ADHD-friendly tips to help you boost your self-esteem. Let’s dive in!
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Understanding ADHD and Low Self-Esteem
What is ADHD?
According to WebMD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurological condition that affects our ability to focus, manage time, and regulate emotions.
While ADHD is often associated with hyperactive boys, many women go undiagnosed until adulthood. For us, ADHD can manifest as chronic disorganization, forgetfulness, emotional sensitivity, and more.
ADHD Types
There is more than one type of ADHD and we don’t all look the same, especially when you take into consideration that most of the research that is commonly known on the subject was based of boys and male symptoms.
I have Inattentive type of ADHD. I struggle with organization, remembering ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, and don’t even get me started with time blindness. I’ll start one task and time just flies by.
But since I didn’t show the “classic” signs of ADHD, I didn’t get a diagnosis until my son got diagnosed with Autism and by researching to better understand him I got diagnosed AuDHD (Autism & ADHD).
No wonder so many of us didn’t get diagnosed in childhood, and that had a HUGE impact on our self-esteem.
Link Between ADHD and Low Self-Esteem
It’s no secret that these symptoms can take a toll on our self-esteem.
We might feel like we’re constantly falling short of expectations, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
I remember struggling with feelings of failure because I couldn’t keep up with my what was expected of me. I felt like I was always a step behind, which chipped away at my confidence.
You feel like there is something wrong but you can’t point it out because you don’t fit with the “idea” or ADHD, and so we have to start overcompensating which can lead to low self-esteem, depression, substance abuse, domestic violence, and so much more.
ADHD-Friendly Tips to Boost Self-Esteem
Embrace Your Uniqueness
1. Accepting ADHD as Part of Who You Are
One of the most empowering steps you can take is to accept ADHD as part of who you are.
Even if you are self diagnosed, it’s still valid.
There is a reaosn why you resonate so much with what is being said on the subject.
I started with self diagnosis and it was one of the most liberating things, to know there wasn’t something “wrong” with me. My brain simply works different and I needed to acknowledge that in order to bring forth the accommodations that I needed.
Instead of viewing it as a limitation, try to see it as a unique aspect of yourself that comes with its own strengths and challenges.
I used to feel weird about telling people I had ADHD, because it was common to get comments like “you don’t look ADHD” or “thats not ADHD, you’re just looking for attention. As if anyone wants this kind of attention.
But once I started embracing it, I realized that even though my house may look like a crime scene from time to time, it also makes me incredibly creative and empathetic.
Celebrate Your Strengths
Focus on what you’re good at.
Maybe you’re great at thinking outside the box, or you have a knack for solving problems in innovative ways.
Whatever your strengths are, celebrate them!
Make a list of your positive qualities and refer to it whenever you’re feeling down.
This is also a great way to help you find a “career” path. Not everyone is meant for a 9-5. Maybe you work best as a freelancer, or an Etsy store selling your art. Who knows.
Personally I started blogging, I have two Etsy stores, and I do Amazon Onsite reviews. Everything that is more on my time and that works best for me.
ADHD In Women Book Recommendation
A great book to read is Women With Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden. It’s a great read to help you better understand the experience of a woman with ADHD and how it impacts out lives & what we can do about it.
2. Set Realistic Goals
Breaking Down Tasks
Our ADHD brains can get overwhelmed easily, especially with large tasks.
Things strat to seem like “too much” which in my case makes my anxiety sky rocket.
Breaking down your goals into smaller, manageable steps has been a game changer for me. I sometimes even pencil in “space out time” where I can just do “nothing” but it’s basically to let my brain decompress.
A quick and practical example would be instead of saying: today I’m cleaning the house, instead break it down into chunks.
Today I’m organizing the pantry, or today I’m doing laundry. Maybe that means from start to finish (washer, drier, and putting away) or maybe it’s just from washer to drier.
Using tools like planners, apps, and bullet journals can help keep track of these tasks.
I personally love using a planners because it’s such a practical tool.
FREE Digital Download ADHD Planner Template
Here is a FREE digital download ADHD planner template to help you get started organizing your life. The good thing everything is undated so you can print as many copies as you need.
Celebrate Small Wins
Slow and steady “wins the race” and it’s a greta way to avoid ADHD burnout.
Don’t wait until a massive goal is accomplished to celebrate. Each small step is a victory.
Did you finish organizing your desk? Awesome! Give yourself a pat on the back.
Celebrating these small wins helps build momentum and boosts your self-esteem.
3. Build a Support System
Finding Your Tribe
Connecting with other women who have ADHD can be incredibly validating.
My first place was TikTok!
I will always praise that app because it has introduced me to so many other women who talk about their ADHD life journey.
If it wasn’t for them I probably would still be wondering what was wrong with me.
At one point my forgetfulness got so bad I was afraid I was experiencing signs of early onset Alzheimer.
Finding other women who talk about their struggles is such a healing process. To know we are not alone. That it’s not that we are not trying hard enough. We just work different.
Lean on Loved Ones
Surround yourself with people who lift you up and encourage you. This it KEY.
When I first self diagnosed I knew I was going to get pushback from people because they simply wouldn’t believe me.
I didn’t “look” like I was struggling but on the inside I was crumbling down.
My husband was my biggest support in the beginning (still is now) and once I got my official diagnosis some family members jumped in as well.
This is especially important because you’ll have to start placing accommodations.
For example: family and friends know that I’ll probably have to leave early due to over stimulation. Or I’ll wear earbuds. And they don’t get offended if I decline an invitation because I know it’s not the right place for my sensory needs.
But it’s the community of other women who “get it” that really helps.
4. Develop Healthy Routines
Creating Structure
Routines can provide stability and predictability, which are essential for managing ADHD.
Establish a morning routine that sets a positive tone for the day, a work routine that helps you stay focused, and an evening routine that promotes relaxation.
For me, I look at my schedule and plan things around it. For example: while kids are in school, thats when I can try and work on my blog. But if it doesn’t workout, that’s ok to! There are going to be good days and bad days.
We have to factor in bad days as well, and give ourselves grace! I know my house will at one point revert back to being a mess, but I also know I will eventually get it back in shape. It’s a cycle.
Self-Care Practices
Incorporate self-care into your daily routine.
This might include activities like meditation, exercise, or hobbies that bring you joy.
I find that starting my day with words or gratitude help reduce anxiety.
I have a post on “8 BEST TIPS TO LOWER CORTISOL NATURALLY AND FEEL BETTER” in case you are interested.
5. Reframe Negative Thoughts
Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
Negative self-talk can be a major self-esteem killer.
When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, try to challenge and reframe them.
For example, if you think, “I’m so disorganized,” instead say “I’m working on improving my organization skills.”
I also tell myself “I don’t do that anymore” when I notice I’m looping (rumination) and I’m stuck on a negative thought.
It comes down to giving ourself grace.
It’s not easy at first, but a little at a time goes a long way.
Affirmations and Mantras
Create personal affirmations and mantras that resonate with you.
I practice this with my gratitude affirmations.
When I catch myself spiraling in negative thoughts I stop, take a moment, and name 5 things I’m grateful for. This helps me instantly start to feel better.
6. Prioritize Mental Health
Seeking Professional Help
There’s no shame in seeking professional help.
I know I’m a therapist and I should say things like this. And while I agree, it’s important to keep on mind that not every professional understands ADHD and Autism in women.
This is CRUCIAL in order to avoid getting misdiagnosed or fall into some ableist bull about how you should “keep pushing”. This is bad advice and will land you in burnout.
Medication and Treatment
Exploring medication options can also be beneficial.
Personally I don’t take medication, but it can help manage symptoms and improve quality of life. Discuss with your healthcare provider to find the best treatment plan for you.
7. Focus on Strengths and Interests
Identify Your Strengths
Take the time to discover and cultivate your unique talents.
Engage in activities that align with your interests and skills.
I like to help others and that’s one of the reasons I became a therapist. And now that I’m a stay at home mom so I can take care of my autistic son, I turned my love for “therapy” and helping others into a blog.
Maybe you are good at numbers, be an accountant. Maybe you love books and reading, then a librarian position could be heavenly.
Doing something you love and are good at can significantly boost your self-esteem.
Hobbies and Passion Projects
Hobbies can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy.
Whether it’s gardening, knitting, writing, or playing an instrument, find something that excites you and make time for it regularly.
I love gardening, and even though I have plants that keep drying up, others are thriving and it’s the best feeling.
And remember, you don’t have to be good at something to enjoy doing it. I like backing and NONE of my cakes are going to win prices or be Pintrest ready ANY time soon. And thats ok.
Conclusion
ADHD and Low Self-Esteem is VERY common so do not get discouraged!
Boosting your self-esteem as an ADHD woman is a journey, not a destination.
It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace your unique qualities.
Remember, you are not alone. We all have our struggles, but together, we can lift each other up and thrive.
Implement these tips, celebrate your progress, and never forget that you are capable, strong, and deserving of love and respect.
Other Posts You Will Love
8 BEST TIPS TO LOWER CORTISOL NATURALLY AND FEEL BETTER
6 BEST ADHD BURNOUT TIPS FOR STAY AT HOME MOMS YOU WILL LOVE.
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